Journaling is a brilliant, cathartic, and creative outlet that I have been embracing for a few years now. The best part is that it can take on so many forms. Journals range from paintings, collages, lists, drawings, poems, original musings, etc. The majority of my journal pages are an amalgamation of all of the above. All for my private pleasure. But! Here are a few of my favorites I wanted to share. :)
Hating your body is exhausting. I know this because I am a female who shamed her own body for years, until one day when I decided that I was beautiful. By no means am I the CEO of Body Image, but I do know that I ought to be better than tearing apart my appearance after 23 years on this Earth. I should be celebrating what I was given, rather than inspecting and dissecting my faults in the mirror. Nobody sees these supposed “flaws” as I do. The only real flaw is the one that exists in my mind when it comes to appearance. The female body is a work of art. It is God’s work of art, and I don’t think he would appreciate everyone pointing out self-proclaimed “flaws” in his impeccable crafting. I have a body that allows me to climb out of bed every morning and face the dawning of a new day. It has been with me through every accomplishment and heartbreak in my life, and it is the only one I have ever known. My body isn’t just a shell that exists simply for the purpose of outer beauty; it is what keeps me alive each day. When an appreciation for everything your body allows you to do is formed, that is when true – inner and outer – beauty develops.
Like the majority of females (and probably many males), I have always been too quick to judge myself, and too quick to compare what I see in the mirror to what I see in the media. Why do females obsess over the fact that our body parts do not look like someone else’s when we should be celebrating our own eccentricities and rarities? Rather than targeting all of our energy on what part of our bodies we dislike today, we should be focusing on our mind, and the perception it has of our bodies. Like it or not, my body is married to my mind, and instead of enduring constant warfare for the rest of my life, I would appreciate them being harmonious. Life is not meant to be a continuous struggle with self-hate and self-destruction, and it definitely is not meant to be an endless fixation on what I don’t have.
I fully understand that achieving self-adoration is a lengthy, arduous process. It took me 23 years to fall in love with myself and to admire all the details that magazines and television constantly tell me are unsightly or that I should work to “improve.” I realized that I do not have anyone to please other than myself. If I feel comfortable and confident in my own skin, approval/disapproval from the media, from men, or from other women is irrelevant and powerless. True beauty lays in the appreciation I have for what my body is capable of, and the self-assurance and courage I possess from doing so. For many years I attacked my appearance and severely struggled with body image, and today I can say with pride that I deem my body as flawless.
It takes a vast amount of compassion and imagination to appreciate a place as unremarkable as this. In a town this small, you must invent your own fun. With limited sources for entertainment, you are forced to explore and exploit your own creative conscience. You are incessantly compelled to dive into your subconscious mind and pray that you pull out something extraordinary. But, here in Calvert County, everything belongs to you. Everything and everyone here is family, which is something particularly exquisite.
This is a safe town. This is a town of thank-yous, excuse-mes, and good mornings. This is a town where others wave as you drive past. This is a see-the-stars-every-night type of town. The feeling of familiarity swaddles you like a warm blanket, yet is often the driving force for many to flee.
Physical environment shapes your self-concept and general frame of mind. Often times, you feel trapped here, like you’re sinking into the ground to be sealed off for good, never to escape. Everyone you know has their own rationale for wanting to leave, and their own dreams of the uncharted territory that looms in the distance. Everyone is eager to break away from the imprisonment of the small town life.
When you leave this town, you leave for something bigger. In Calvert County, everyone knows who you are. Out there, you are microscopic. You are invisible until you make yourself known. Out there everything is quick, and everyone is in a hurry. You must adapt to the unavoidable haste. People stare at cell phone screens or straight towards their destination. Excuse-mes and good mornings are minimal or inexistent. Life moves at a different speed. You will miss the quiet streets and the back roads and the big hearts. You will miss the constant daydreaming of the foreign terrain. You will begin to treasure the delicate beauty of the tiny town you once loathed.
How you paint our world depends on you. Though your surroundings and physical atmosphere can influence your perspective, it is up to you individually to open your eyes and revel in its splendor. You must learn every day to allow the space between where you are and where you want to be to inspire you, rather than discourage you. Suddenly, you will become awash in gratitude. This town will be your stepping stone to the destination you desire – whether it be across the globe, a notorious city, the next town over, or shockingly, right here in Calvert County – if you allow it to.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t trying to desert this town, but as I imagine opening the door to the universe that lies ahead, I can’t help but admire this aging beauty surrounding me. I can feel the strength of togetherness and family. I can feel a paralyzing sense of nostalgia as I drive the familiar streets. I can feel the Chesapeake Bay running through my veins. There is love here in daydream nation, and although escaping may be probable, returning now and again is inevitable.
The first time someone slides a woman’s legs apart they may not ask for her permission. They may violate her in ways you cannot imagine. She can scream for help but they will silence her however they can. They may get away with it.
A woman may finally land a job in her field, but her male coworkers may not accept her. They might make degrading comments and sexually harass her throughout the work day. Regardless, they may still receive a better paycheck than her.
Because a woman is wearing a mini skirt and a bow, she might be deemed as weak and docile. Hatred might be directed towards her when she does not live up to these expectations of being easily controllable and not providing the adequate stimulation someone prefers. And she may be regarded and treated as just a collection of body parts, as opposed to a human being.
These are but a few explanations of why feminism continues to exist and thrive amongst women today. Our society has polluted the word feminism with generalizations and false accusations. Regrettably, it has become one of the most unreasonably misunderstood concepts in the English language. Too many individuals, male and female, hear the word ‘feminism,’ and immediately perceive a negative connotation. Feminism is not a trend; it is not the hatred of the male sex and wanting to destroy them. Feminism is not a cry for attention or a continuous battle over which gender is dominant. Feminism is the drastic idea that women should be seen as people. It is challenging the devastating things that are happening each day to women. It is the hope that one day girls will grow up in a world without limitations due to the ignorance of society. Feminism is an optimistic, inspirational, and impartial state of mind that believes women and men are equal beings and should be treated as such.
There are many people in the world that do not believe (or are oblivious to) the imbalance between men and women. Once you open your eyes to the screwed up misfortunes in inequality, you will wish you were as naïve as these folks. Women are beautiful, radiant creatures, and they should be able to shine as they were meant to. Women should not have to alter the way they dress because it’s more convenient for a man’s lack of self control. A short skirt and a few drinks do not offer a free pass for a man to take advantage of a woman. A female should be able to go out in public dressed however she deems appropriate, comfortable, and attractive and not have to listen to perverted men hollering and whistling at her, or judgmental women calling her a slut. If a girl wears a skirt above her knees or a shirt that shows her stomach or cleavage, that does not make her a slut. That makes her confident enough in who she is to dress however makes her feel beautiful and powerful. The same goes for a woman who chooses not to dress in revealing clothing. That does not make her a prude or a lesbian. If a girl decides she does not wish to shave her legs or wear makeup because that is how she feels beautiful and powerful, good for her; that is her prerogative. Too many females feel uncomfortable dressing or acting as they desire because they are worried about pleasing men. Too many girls are not confident about their appearance because society has consistently degraded any female body that is less than perfect. Feminism challenges these dehumanizing views of women and encourages the idea that women are much more than a collection of body parts (“large breasts,” “nice legs,” “big ass,” etc).
The monstrosity that is the glass ceiling (an invisible barrier that keeps women – and other minority groups – from rising past a certain level in the corporate world) is in fact legitimate and unfortunately still existent in our (dare I say pathetic?) society. This glass ceiling is not based on an individual’s performance or inability to handle a job at a higher level. Women executives are, time after time, being concentrated into distinct jobs that offer little to no opportunity to get to the top. The pay gap between women and men is yet another enduring notion in our world that says women are less valuable. According to the US Census Bureau in 2012, men were still paid higher in 19 out of 20 traditionally male jobs, and 19 out of 20 traditionally female jobs. The United States Department of Labor suggests that jobs requiring knowledge are the highest rewarded in the workforce today, yet women with equal educational accomplishments as men in their field are still consistently earning less. There is absolutely no justification to why this should (still) be occurring in society. These issues need to be tackled from every angle until equality is assured for each and every individual.
Feminism is essential to the overall advancement of society. Without activism and change, rape will still be condoned and blamed on women for merely dressing or acting a certain way. Radiant individuals will be overlooked for jobs they are ideal for. Young girls will grow up with misconstrued ideas of beauty and a lack of self-confidence. Mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, and friends will be called sluts and bitches for simply dressing and acting how they please. Instead of encouraging girls to play modest and submissive and live up to pre-existing social standards, demand equality. Demand change. Feminism is screaming for the pride and power of women to be treated as people. Don’t be afraid to scream.